Friday, April 11, 2014

One Year Anniversary - My version

This time last year I was in shock. I had just hit the publish button on Promise Me Darkness and people were BUYING it! Buying my book!!! Crazy! I remember telling my husband that if only fifty people read my book, I would be happy. You see, I had never let anyone read anything I wrote. I was too terrified of being ridiculed. Yes, I had written my whole life. I still have notebooks full of stories that I wrote as a little girl and teenager. (My mom just found an elementary school workbook where I wrote a whole conversation between two characters in the margin. Needless to say, I didn't pay attention in class very much. I was too busy daydreaming.) But to let someone, even a family member, read my stories...uh, no. Over the years I continued to write, but I would hear terrible things about trying to break into the publishing business. I cringed when I heard what others were going through. So I would put my writing aside and focus on raising my babies.

Then one day something happened. I just decided I was going to publish a story. I was watching the rise of the e-books and the self-publishing industry and I thought, "Here's my chance. I could do this." If nobody bought and read my book, at least I could say I did it and had tried. I was too consumed with writing and reading not to.

So I hit the button. Maddie and Ryder's story went live. I never submitted to an agent or a publishing company before. Only ONE person had read Promise Me Darkness before it was published. I did not do one smidgen of marketing. I had exactly one follower on Facebook. But I just threw PMD out there and crossed my fingers. That night, I was a nervous wreck. But within an hour, sixty people had bought the book. My husband and I stared at the computer, in shock. What was going on? Was this for real? That same night I started to receive emails - "I can't find it on Apple." "When will it be on Kobo?" I couldn't believe what was happening. People wanted my book. (Now, I do know that my graphic artist, Sarah Hansen, posted the synopsis a week or so earlier and there was some interest from that, but I was still surprised at the response.) Regardless, I don't think I slept a wink that night.

Fast forward...PMD hit the New York Times and was on USA Today Bestseller List two times. I made the top five on erotica for Amazon U.K. I sat besides people like E.L. James on Amazon's bestseller list for a while. This was all a huge deal for me. HUGE. I went from hoping to sell 50 copies over time to selling 100,000 copies. I think my friends were more excited about it then I was because I was still in a dream state, waiting for someone to shake me awake. I couldn't believe it was happening to me...the girl that had been too scared to let anyone read one sentence of what she wrote. That girl was now selling books seriously.

That day my life changed. THIS was what I was meant to do. All those late nights...all the nights I spent reading or writing as a teenager instead of hanging out with friends...all the hours I spent as a child daydreaming about other worlds and fictional all came down to this - the moment I hit "publish."

I owe so much to the readers. SOOOO MUCH! They are the heart and soul of this industry. They decide what is good and what isn't. They keep me going when I am tired or motivate me when I am feeling uncertain. I just have to say from the bottom of my heart...

"Thank you for one amazing year."


Monday, April 7, 2014

Sweet Destruction

My new standalone book, Sweet Destruction, will be released in May (more details coming soon). In the meantime I thought I would share a teaser...just a little taste of what is to come...

Friday, February 14, 2014

Here's a first look at my upcoming book, Sweet Destruction...

“Admit it, Sam. It’s just the two of us. Let’s get it out in the open right now. You hate me. Say it,” he said, his eyes moving down to the v-neck of my dress then back up again.

I swallowed hard, drowning in the feeling of him so close. His thighs rubbed against me and his eyes drifted down again, taking his time, enjoying the view.

“Sam. Say it.”

“I hate you,” I whispered, feeling my body pulse.

“Now that we got that out of the way—”

His lips fell on mine.

I gasped, everything in me coming alive. The kiss was gentle, not at all what I expected. He sampled me, taking his time. Letting me get used to the feel of him kissing me. His tenderness left me dizzy and confused. It went against everything he was and everything he represented.

But that was only the beginning.

He took a step closer and I wanted to cringe. His body brushed against mine, sending a spark of electricity through my system. I was still reeling when one of his hands moved to the back of my head, holding me steady. The other hand went to my hip, keeping me still. I was at his mercy and that’s when things changed.

His lips took control, demanding more. There was only harsh need and he was going to steal it from me like the criminal he was.

A moan escaped past my lips when he forced them apart. His mouth showed me what he wanted. His hand held my head captive while he did it.

I didn’t fight because I couldn’t. I wasn’t in my right mind. For the first time in my life, I had lost the upper hand. This man – the bane of my existence - was doing things to me I should not enjoy.

My body hummed and blood rushed through my veins, heating to dangerous levels. I didn’t want him near me but I couldn’t push him away. My hands hung limply at my sides, useless. But my fingers itched to touch Walker, to see if the man I loathed was really inches from me.

I reached out, hesitant at first. My fingers touched his shirt then traveled around to his side. When I grabbed a handful of his t-shirt, his lips grew more frantic, demanding and taking more.

I didn’t resist when he took a step closer, putting his body firmly against mine. Both of his hands moved to cradle my face, keeping me locked in place for his mouth. His tongue plunged inside, invading me. Showing me what I had been missing and what we had both turned our backs on long ago.

I gasped as he became uncontrollable. His tongue dived inside, seeking my tongue and forcing me to take all of him in. But it wasn’t enough. I wanted more.

I grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked. He fell against me, his kiss deepening. Taking control, his tongue lunged into my mouth again, running along the top and teasing my tongue as the hardness underneath his zipper pressed into me.

His hand delved into my hair as he nudged my feet apart. I relented, needing him closer. With one step he was between my legs, nestled against me.


Suddenly someone whistled nearby. It was like being drenched by a bucket of cold water.

My body went stiff. My mind woke up. I was suddenly aware of the people around us, laughing and talking. Having a good time. And here we were – going at it like a couple of bunny rabbits. Shit.

Walker pulled away first, breaking the kiss. I was still spiraling back down to earth. Returning to cruel reality.

He stared down at me, his gaze tense. My throat went dry. My tongue slipped out to wet my bottom lip, touching on my lip ring.

Walker watched it all with hunger, his eyes flaring. Without warning, his hand snapped out, grabbing my arm. “It would be very smart for you to walk away right now, Sam.”

“You first, asshole,” I whispered hoarsely, challenging him.

A sinister grin spread across his face. “Na, don’t think I will. But I’ll have another taste while I’m here.”

His mouth swooped down, hard and rough this time. There was no patience, no softness, no gentleness that made me weak; there was just him taking and me giving.

I moaned, giving in when his tongue pushed past my lips, sliding against my lip ring.

His hands did what they wanted and I wanted them everywhere. They grabbed my hips and yanked me toward him. I fell against him, the breath knocked out of me. But it didn’t matter. I felt him against me, needing me, desiring me. Wanting inside me.

I twisted one of my fingers around his jean’s belt loop and pulled. He grunted and fell harder against me, rubbing between my legs.

The friction between us exploded.

His hands became frantic, running up my ribs with power. In seconds they were tangled in my hair and jerking my head back.

Pulling his lips from mine, he looked down at me, his fist in my hair. Lust in his eyes. Pushing against me, his hardness pressed right where I needed him.

I sucked in a whoosh of air between my lips, my eyes opening to peer up at him.

He leaned over, his lips a mere inch from mine.

“Keep dreaming, Sam,” he whispered. “It’s never going to happen.” His lips touched mine, soft this time. “Never.”

His hand dropped from my hair and he took a step back. A malicious smirk spread across his face and his eyes took on an arrogant look, making his devilishly handsome face all that much more dangerous.

“I really hate you,” I said in a hushed whisper. I didn’t think he could hear but he did.

“Feeling’s mutual, sweetheart.”

Thursday, February 13, 2014

The Last Letter

~Happy Valentine's Day everyone!~

Ryder visited me recently to talk about a special Valentine's Day post, requested by SubClubBooks.
I thought I would share what happened.

The Last Letter

I stared across my desk at the imperfect, pain-in-my-butt, bad boy of Promise Me Darkness, Ryder Delaney, refusing to flinch when he frowned at me.

“It’s Valentine’s Day, Ryder. Give me something,” I pleaded, resisting the urge to beg.

He scowled, his blue eyes piercing and full of fire. I recognized the hardness lining his face and turning his lips down. He wasn’t going to talk. Hell could freeze over first.

“Pleeease,” I said, almost begging. “For the girls at Sub Club.”

He sighed and leaned further back in his chair. I tried to ignore the way his crisp shirt outlined his muscles and the sexy way he reclined in his seat, relaxed like he didn’t have a care in the world. But I knew beneath that fa├žade was a man ready to attack at the first sign of trouble. Without an ounce of remorse, he would take out any danger, leaving nothing but bruises and blood in his wake. The man was a living, breathing specimen of raw sexuality and dangerous power. The combination was lethal. The desire he invoked by just walking in a room - overwhelming.

“I need something romantic,” I said, forcing myself to focus on the conversation, not on the effect of him.

“Romantic?” he scoffed. “Do I look like someone that spews romance like a damned fool? No.”

“Please?” I asked again, begging now. He stared at me with those cold eyes, making me uncomfortable. The clock ticked, counting the seconds until one of us gave in. Finally Ryder broke the silence.

“Fine. For Sub Club.”

I smiled. He could be an ass sometimes. But that’s why I loved him.

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his jean-clad knees, taking his time. And I would give him all the time he needed. This man was dangerous. The ultimate badass. He could tear a man apart with one hand or make a girl melt with only one glance. He was the epic bad boy with not a care in the world. He had no rules and no boundaries. He cared for no one and nothing.

Except for Maddie.

She was the only woman that could bring him to his knees. His best friend. The love of his life. They were inseparable but I knew the world had tried to tear them apart.

And only succeeded in pushing them together.

“You ended the story too soon, Paige,” he said with a rough voice meant to scare me. “There was more, so much more that happened between Maddie and I.”

“I know…” I said. “But I had to stop somewhere, Ryder. The book couldn’t go on forever.”

“But my love for Maddie has.”

I opened my mouth to respond but no words came out. I mean, what do you say to that?

He pushed back his chair and stood up. Without missing a beat, he started pacing, wearing a path on my floor. Memories played out across his face. Darkness. Suffering. The hunger that ate at a person’s insides until they went mad. It was all there for me to see. He didn’t hide any of it. Finally he stopped in front of the window, staring outside, seeing another place. Another time.

“The day that the war hit, hell came to earth. Death and destruction were everywhere.” He paused. His throat worked hard to get his next words out. “But that hell gave me something. Something I can’t leave without. It gave me Maddie.”

With two strides he was back in front of me, resting his knuckles on my desk and forcing me to look up at him. “I spent weeks in that terrorist prison,” he said with disgust. “I was a dead man walking, full of bullet holes and almost beaten to death. But I thought of Maddie morning, noon, and night. It’s what kept me alive. The only thing that made me want to live.”

I didn’t say anything. How could I? What did you say to a man that had been shot and nearly killed? That had dragged himself - bleeding and dying - back home in the middle of a war-ravaged land. And for what? Just to get to Maddie. The only person he had ever loved.

He reached into his pocket, drawing my attention to his low-riding jeans that hugged his hips perfectly. “I came back home with something else besides those bullet holes and nightmares,” he said, pulling out a piece of paper that looked like it had been folded many times over. There was a red stain in one corner and black smudges in another. It looked like it had been to hell and back. But maybe it had.

“What is it?” I asked.

“A letter. Note, I guess. I wrote it when I was sitting in the terrorist camp.” He put the paper down on the table and pushed it toward me. “It’s for Maddie.”

Before I could respond, he picked his hat up from the desk and slapped it on his head, pulling the brim down low. His eyes blazed down at me, hidden in the shadows of the ball cap.

“Give it to Sub Club,” he said. “Tell them it was all I needed to let the person I love, the person I would die for, know how much she meant to me. I didn’t need candy or roses or a damn Hallmark card.” He pointed to the paper. “I just needed that.”

Without another word, he turned on his booted heel and walked out of my office, leaving nothing but a heavy quietness in his wake.

Slowly I picked up the piece of paper and unfolded it. Ryder’s long, elegant handwriting looked shaky, forced onto the page. I imagined him sitting in a makeshift prison, beaten, bleeding, and barely holding on. That place had almost broke him but I knew what was in that letter had made him live on.

Dear Maddie,
As I write this, my body is bleeding and my heart is hurting. I miss you, Maddie. God, I miss you so much.
I dream at night of pastures and slow moving creeks. The sun is bright and the air is warm. I can feel it on my skin, heating me from the inside out and making me feel alive. I see a girl with hair as dark as midnight, smiling at me in the sunlight. She is my best friend. My childhood playmate. She tells me to live and to never give up. Her smile alone makes me want to stay alive.
So I follow her, running through the tall grasses. I swim with her in the creek, watching as water runs over her body. I touch her and come alive. She is beautiful, perfection in my imperfect world. Just being near her makes me see things in a clearer light. She is everything to me.
That girl is you, Maddie. You are my heaven in this hell. You are my heart and soul. I ache for you. I crave your touch like a dying man craves a miracle. I want to hear your voice just one more time. I want to feel you next to me, whispering my name. It’s the only reason I want to survive. Each breath I take is for you. Each moment I stay alive is for you. Only you. I’ve begged God to take me home. Just take me back home to you…
But if he doesn’t, I will die a happy man. I’ve loved my best friend, loved her more than life itself. Time cannot change that and death will not take that away from me.
I love you, Maddie, with all of my heart.
Always and forever.
I love you…

*See the blog post on

Friday, January 3, 2014

Hello 2014! You look so beautiful!

I confess - my writing cave has been very empty lately. I've been overwhelmed with personal stuff. Sick kids, a death in the family, and a house full of noisy workers every day - it's been busy.

Today I sat down and wrote 1,000 words in two hours. It felt good. I felt like I was back home after being away for a long, long time. Not many people understand why it is an obsession, something I need to do to feel complete. (My husband says I get crabby when I don't write.) I miss my characters. I miss my readers. No one told me the writing biz wasn't all rainbows and unicorns. It's hard. It's grueling. I've had some really bad days and some amazing, out-of-this-world great days. I wouldn't change any of it. I've loved every moment and every hour. How can I not when it was a dream come true?

Now that the holidays are over and life is getting back to normal, I hope to delve back into things. I might be absent from social media while my characters demand all of my time or I might overwhelm everyone with post after post (just tell me when to stop). Whichever it is, I can't wait for 2014 and all that it will bring. I promise to get Cash and my new book into your hands or onto your devices as quickly as humanly possible. (Ryder has been itching to get some more attention too.) A big hug to everyone for supporting me, sticking beside me, and encouraging me since April 2013. I hope to continue this wild ride called writing and publishing if you'll stick beside me. Happy New Year (a few days late)!! May it be the best ever...

Monday, November 18, 2013

I am so excited to announce that Ryder made the Top 15 Book Boyfriends of 2013!!!! *I'm doing a little dance right now* NEVER did I expect to see him on a list (I only dreamed that one day he would make one.)

Thank you to everyone that voted for him and also to Becca the Bibliophile, I Love Indie Books, and Shh Mom's Reading for including him on the list.

Check out the video they made of the top 15. They will announce the names on November 27th but for right now, they are leaving everyone guessing (but we know which one is Ryder. lol!)


Monday, November 4, 2013

Book Boyfriend of 2013!

Ryder has been nominated for favorite Book Boyfriend of 2013 by Becca the Bibliophile, Shhh Mom's Reading, and other blogs!! Please go cast your vote for him! ;)

You can vote here: Book Boyfriend of 2013 Poll